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When did you realize you were a Queen of Spades?
Since it seems that I have touched a nerve, unintended as it may be. I have decided to censor myself for fear of reprisals and backlashes (backwhips, though are encouraged  ). Enjoy your day, and continue about your business. That is all.  |
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LOL cool. If I annoyed you with these questions (no offense taken) I apologize. I'm a curious person and wanted to see what answers might pop up if the questions were asked. So all is good, my very un-tan sista.  | ||
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It's not you, T-Mack, really!  We just get asked that question...a LOT, both in the group (which you probably don't know since you're new to it), in-person, and via email. I can't even tell you how many times I'm gotten "Why black men?" from both black and white guys. I don't see a lot of folks questioning why someone likes blondes, brunettes, or redheads, tall or short, dumb or smart, but when it comes to race/ethnicity, it's like we have to wear a shirt that says, "Because that's what I LIKE, dammit!" 
In answer to your questions, I have to say...it's not BBC that I'm fond of, much like Goldergirl...it's the men attached to it and the experiences that they bring with them that are what I value and adore. | ||
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I dont call myself a queen of spades at all my preference is black men cause that is my preference | ||
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i don't really remember what the original questions were... so here's just my take on me and my history of being with black men...
I've had an "on again, off again" preference for black men. the first time i ever slept with one was when i was 23 and he was much older, 37 i believe. we were good freinds and were trying to be more than that. he actually really broke my heart. but he and i are still friends to this day. but there were some rough patches that we didn't talk and that i cried a lot during.
A few month later i started sleeping with another friend of mine who happened to be black. and he did far worse to me than just rip my heart out. he was extremely emotionally abusive to me because i actually got pregnant with his kid and had a miscarraige. it's still to this day the most traumatizing experiences of my life. and not even the miscarriage itself but just how he treated me and made me feel about it afterwards. he and i are obviously not friends anymore... infact if i happen to see him, i go into sever panic attacks even after 3 years.
so yeah, i took a break from guys/sex in general after that (7 months). and then i met and totally fell in love with another black guy. he and i lived together for 5 month but that did not end well either. he was very emotionally abusive and wasn't honest with me about anything. oh, and he didn't put out. ha. on two different occasions during that 5 months we went more than a month with out having sex. he said we didn't have sex because we fought... the only thing he and i ever fought about was that we didnt have sex. ha. one day he was just gone. packed up and left. at the time it really broke my heart because i was in love with him but now i'm glad he left like that. again, after that i took a 7 month long break from guys and sex... apparently even after traumatizing experiences 7 months is along as i can go. ha.
trust me, i have never thought "these black guys were assholes"... i've always just thought "these guys were assholes". but it's funny because it's usually other black men that when i tell them about those experiences are like "WOW, i'm surprised you'll still have anything at all to do with black men after that". i just tell them that i don't think it had anything at all to do with their skintone. i just have a knack for choosing assholes... ha.
but i guess it's been over the last 6 months or so that i've found that i am so extremely attracted to black men sexually. i am attracted to white men as well. those are generally the only two races that i find myself very attracted to. sure, there are guys from other races that i find attractive but it's definitely fewer and farther between. i'm not attracted to ever black man and i'm not attracted to every white man, but i am definitely attracted to a lot of them. and if i had a white man and a black man who were equally attracted in front of me and i had to choose one of them, i'd go with the black man every time. | ||
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Censorship isn't necessary in here...we're all family and believe it or not we do like a post every now and then that makes us take a step back and view things from another's perspective.
as for me ....want the exact date? lol Nov 4, 2005 | ||
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Not sure how to address the question.
Without a doubt it was after the worst fight of my marriage, when I promised my husband I'd give up black guys and I lasted only three weeks.
Or, it could have been a few years earlier when I sampled my first black cock after a office Xmas party and knew in my soul I wanted it again.
It may even have been nearly ten years ago when my oldest child started to date and brought black boyfriends home. Whatever repressed desires/curiousity I had definitely started to surface then.
Laura | ||
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Well thank you ladies for feeling open enough to share. Its interesting how people define themselves sexually. And what they go for. I myself don't have any major preferences, except not dating or playing with short, thin women. I've found that I have to 'hold myself back' in ways and that might be fun for them, but turns into just a naked workout for me.  | ||
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all my life never been with any other race | ||
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I do get asked that question alot. I don't mind answering. But I am at a stage in my life where I am wondering why there has to be a "why" For me white men-boys from school age to present day-never have given me the time of day, a look of interest, or even appreciation or acknowledgment when I showed some interest. The first black man I showed and initiated an interest in responded in kind. We were best friends before becoming lovers, it ended when I realized I was "in love" and he wasn't. No hard feelings though. Over the years there have been black men I have shown interest in that did not feel the same, yet I do remember there being communication not just ignoring. However, since then the black men in my life have varied in personalities, our relationships have varied in intensity and length because of different factors present at the time. Everything that I have gone through, could have easily happened with white men. So, you see there really is no "why", after all that, who do you think I would prefer? And, of course there is that kinky/freaky side of me that does love the contrast. Here I Am Practice What You Preach    | ||
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quote the_t_mack: Well thank you ladies for feeling open enough to share. Its interesting how people define themselves sexually. And what they go for. I myself don't have any major preferences, except not dating or playing with short, thin women. I've found that I have to 'hold myself back' in ways and that might be fun for them, but turns into just a naked workout for me. :} See, now, you're making me wish I still lived in Fort Collins (and that's sayin' somethin' ! LOL | ||
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quote Queenie1970: See, now, you're making me wish I still lived in Fort Collins (and that's sayin' somethin')! LOL LOL Tell me about. Don't get me wrong. There's some good things about Fort Collins.... I...just can't remember them right now. | ||
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For me, watching interracial porn was the thing that woke up those so naughty desires. Wow! I guess the big cock is a part of it. Also, the no rules of sex is appealing. I guess the forbidden fruit is part of it too. |
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